Milan Church of Christ
Find us on Facebook or email us today!
  • Home
    • The Church of Christ
  • Bible Class
  • Preacher Corner
    • Dennis' Articles
    • Sermons
  • Missions/Works
  • Photo Gallery
  • Events Calendar
  • Useful Links

No Excuses

3/17/2019

Comments

 
PLEASE ATTEND OUR NO EXCUSE SUNDAY

In order to improve our Sunday morning attendance, our 1st Annual “No Excuse Sunday” will occur next week.
Moreover, we will do our utmost to compensate for excuses routinely offered by those who frequently miss.
·        Cots and pillows will be available for those who claim, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.”
·        Padded lounge chairs will be offered to those that feel that our pews are too hard.
·        Eye drops will be available for attendees manifesting red, tired eyes from staying up late on Saturday night.
·        Hard hats will be distributed to those concerned that the roof might cave in if they show up on Sunday.
·        Comforters will be distributed to those who complain that the building is cold, and extra fans for those who say that it is too hot.
·        Note cards will be available for those wishing to list all the hypocrites present.
·        A dinner and extra chairs will be provided for those that claim that they cannot attend because they have to cook for company.
·        The preacher will NOT preach on “Giving" in order to appease those that whine that the church is always asking for money.
·        Several saplings, small shrubs and live flowers will be brought in to appease those who prefer to worship out in nature. 
·        A doctor and several nurses will be on call for those who plan to be sick.
·        The auditorium will be decorated with Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the auditorium without them. 
·        Hearing aids will be provided for those who cannot hear the preacher, and ear plugs for those who grumble because they can.


______________________________________________________________________________________________________


“I was glad when they said to me, "Let us go into the house of the Lord." (Psa. 122:1)


Jesus, always Jesus!


Dennis
Comments

    Preacher's Corner

    Articles & insight provided by Dennis Swindle

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    August 2014
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly