1. COMPLAIN about anything that doesn’t suit you – long sermons, inferior singing, too hot (or cold) in the sanctuary, lack of attention to your needs, unfriendliness by others, etc. Everyone has a right to speak their mind.
2. LISTEN to rumors, gossip and backbiting. Moreover, believe everything you hear. And don’t forget to spread the word!
3. COOPERATE with contentious members that divide the church into camps. Allow them to drive wedges between families, friends, and individuals. It keeps things exciting!
4. OVERLOOK sin in the camp. Just look the other way if a member or two (or three) there engages in questionable practices or persistent sin. After all, nobody's perfect!
5. DEMAND your rights – convenient parking, soft pews, short, sweet sermons, your favorite songs, and no demands on your finances or time. Put yourself first now and then!
6. OFFER children fun over Bible study and service. Keep them coming with ice cream, bowling, volleyball and trips to the zoo or Cedar Point. After all, Bible study and serving others tend to turn kids off.
7. TOLERATE questionable teachings. Agree with dubious doctrines or practices in the name of open-mindedness and tolerance. After all, if the majority of denominations accept or believe something, why shouldn't we?
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“Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.” (2 Tim. 4:2-4).
Jesus, always Jesus!
Dennis